Despite earlier reports, News columnist finds S.N.P.J. goes from 0 to 14 in a matter of seconds - and a few more votes for Al Gore.
Pat Litowitz
New Castle News
Leo Kadzner was in a bit of a grumpy mood. And the fact the U.S. Census Bureau said he didn't exist wasn't the reason.
There's the ongoing renovation of the S.N.P.J. recreation center, scheduled for a May 12 grand opening. Then there's those annoying reporters from Youngstown, the Associated Press, and, yes, the New Castle News.
All those questions about the borough's population dropping from 12 to 0 in the 2000 Census. Oh yeah - did I forget to mention I got Leo out of bed late at night to set up a time for the interview? (Note to would-be journalists: A key to a successful interview involves keeping the interviewee happy before the interview takes place.)
The population of S.N.P.J., formally known as Slovenska Narodna Podporna Jednota, has become an annual joke - told once every 10 years.
"Every 10 years they come back to write something about the census," said Susan Krispinsky, the borough's secretary. "We care, but it's not like it's a big city."
But the question remains: How do you lose an ENTIRE borough?
Well, if the Census Bureau is counting - and apparently it's not - I found two of your missing numbers. Kadzner and Judy Moses are two of the borough's 14 residents.
Of those 14, six are currently enjoying the warmth of Florida. Krispinsky, by the way, lives in Ohio.
"They come here for a preliminary look to find the location," Kadzner recalled of the bureau's initial efforts. "They said they send somebody out here to see us, and they never came back. "Unless they mailed something, I never got it."
Moses, a two-year resident of S.N.P.J., backs Kadzner. "They never came here."
Is that such a bad thing?
Obviously, S.N.P.J. is not your normal government entity. It owes its existence to the Slovene National Benefit Society, which owns the land where the borough sits.
The society runs a first-class facility where its members enjoy a number of recreational programs. And the public can also take part in the festivals and events it offers.
Problem is, the place also serves alcohol, which is a no-no in North Beaver Township. To work around the problem, the borough left the graces of North Beaver in 1978. The tax dollars remain in North Beaver; the alcohol is served in S.N.P.J.
Wouldn't it be fun to run for office here?
Resident One: OK, who wants to be mayor this month?
Resident Two: I'm not doing anything.
Resident One: But you were mayor last month.
Resident Two: The relatives are coming into town. I thought it be nice if I had the "Mayor of SNPJ" magnetic placard on the side of the pickup.
Resident One: Anyone else? Here's a bonus - a Major Oil Concern "donated" this hat for the mayor to wear.
Resident One's wife: You got that ball cap when you filled up the gas tank last week. Sheesh.
Resident Three: Hat? The winner gets a hat?
Resident Four: Does the mayor get free helpings of potica and krofi?
Resident Five: I love a good leg of lamb.
All right. So maybe I'm exaggerating. Elections do take place. The mayor and three council members run on write-in ballots.
And if you're looking for the money trail, there is none. Officials work for nothing. The truth be told, the borough is little more than an official paper pusher.
It processes paperwork and sends any funds that come its way to North Beaver Township, which does the real work for the borough - emergency services and the like.
"The council, the mayor. Nobody gets any type of a wage," Krispinsky explained.
But Krispinsky also works for S.N.P.J.'s recreation center.
"I'm program director, their accounting clerk and bartender. That says it all," she said. "I started as a waitress. That's how you work your way up in this place."
And Kadzner's response to all this hoopla? Census, schmensus.
"Why would I worry about that," he explained. "You think they've got people counted? There's probably millions they missed.
"If we were a big borough, I'd be concerned."
For Kadzner, the facility's director, the immediate work involves the banquet center. Workers are on site renovating the banquet hall and putting in a new kitchen, dining hall and heritage room.
"We've got work to get done," he said. "People are coming in here and bothering us. And when I'm sleeping at night, I don't want anyone calling me at home."
At least one person should be concerned about the S.N.P.J. brouhaha. In the last presidential election, six of the borough's residents voted for president. All six votes were cast for Al Gore.
Hey, Al, ever think of becoming a mayor?
Copyright (c) 2001, New Castle News
